You’re in the garden now

I’ve always been a reluctant gardener. Which is a pity, because K loves gardening and would happily spend hours out in the garden every weekend. But I just find it boring, most of the time.

Some years ago, though, I successfully grew some potatoes. I know they were successful because Matt Biddulph said they were the tastiest spuds he’d ever eaten, quite a recommendation from a man of experience and taste such as he.

Anyway, this year my family have suggested I grow some spuds again, and I’m quite keen on the idea. So keen that today I actually went outside voluntarily and during a break in my working day to dig over the veg patch concerned and get rid of some weeds.

And I enjoyed it. Blimey.

Bet you’re excited at the thought of me posting regular vegetable news alerts here aren’t you? Eh?

Hospital food

Two or three years ago, annoying slebchef Jamie Oliver caused a stir with his TV-based campaign for better food in schools.

His TV series touched a collective nerve among parents in the UK, who for years had just accepted that school dinners were rubbish – because they always had been, ever since those parents were kids. It was just the accepted default status.

Jamie Oliver shook things up and did an excellent job of raising awareness. Thousands of middle class parents backs were got up, and they made a fuss at their local school. Things changed, in a few places, and school meals got that fractional bit better for some kids.

So, following a summer during which I have spent a great deal of time in hospitals, I have a very simple question: why hasn’t the same happened for hospitals?

The situation is the same. Everybody *expects* hospital food to be rubbish, so no-one bothers to complain when it is. This is true even of the staff, the nurses and doctors on duty. They will make throwaway jokes about the food that’s on offer, as a way of clearing the air or lightening the atmosphere after a serious and depressing conversation about terminal illness. *”If the cancer don’t get you, the fish pie will.”*

People in hospital are just as deserving of good food as children in school. Being sick is never enjoyable. A bit of good food might cheer people up. You never know, it might help them get better sooner.

I never thought I’d say this, but: let’s have more Jamie Oliver on our telly screens. If he can have as much impact on our nation’s hospital food as he did on our school dinners, he deserves a primetime slot. No matter how annoying he is.

>Chilli Quorn chunks

>

Here’s a recipe I made up last night, one which turned out rather tasty. So I thought I’d share.

Ingredients

• One onion, finely chopped
• Two or three sticks of celery, finely chopped
• Half a fresh chilli, chopped
• One carrot, chopped small
• (A red pepper would probably be nice too, but I didn’t have any peppers.)
• One box (350g) Quorn chunks (aka “Chicken style pieces”)
• Two large teaspoons Bart red Thai curry paste
• A small sliver of creamed coconut
• Cheapo tin of chopped tomatoes

Howto

Fry up the onion, celery, chilli and carrot until soft. Throw in the Quorn chunks and get them nicely browned (this will need fairly constant stirring). Add the chopped tomatoes, then the curry paste and creamed coconut and anything else you’ve forgotten. Leave to simmer for a good 20 minutes (at least), during which time you can cook up some rice or some noodles to go with it. Yummy.

Chilli Quorn chunks

Here’s a recipe I made up last night, one which turned out rather tasty. So I thought I’d share.

Ingredients

• One onion, finely chopped
• Two or three sticks of celery, finely chopped
• Half a fresh chilli, chopped
• One carrot, chopped small
• (A red pepper would probably be nice too, but I didn’t have any peppers.)
• One box (350g) Quorn chunks (aka “Chicken style pieces”)
• Two large teaspoons Bart red Thai curry paste
• A small sliver of creamed coconut
• Cheapo tin of chopped tomatoes

Howto

Fry up the onion, celery, chilli and carrot until soft. Throw in the Quorn chunks and get them nicely browned (this will need fairly constant stirring). Add the chopped tomatoes, then the curry paste and creamed coconut and anything else you’ve forgotten. Leave to simmer for a good 20 minutes (at least), during which time you can cook up some rice or some noodles to go with it. Yummy.

>Parsnip chips

>

Get your hands on some nice fresh parsnips (or neeps, as a bloke I used to know used to call them), and slice them up nice and thin. Chuck them in a bowl with a drop of olive oil, then stir them around with your fingers until they’re all well coated. Slip the slippery oily neep chips (neep cheeps?) under the grill until they start to go brown and crispy; extract and eat immediately, with lentil loaf or sausages or some other yummy dish. Ketchup and cold lager optional. Mmmmmm.

Parsnip chips

Get your hands on some nice fresh parsnips (or neeps, as a bloke I used to know used to call them), and slice them up nice and thin. Chuck them in a bowl with a drop of olive oil, then stir them around with your fingers until they’re all well coated. Slip the slippery oily neep chips (neep cheeps?) under the grill until they start to go brown and crispy; extract and eat immediately, with lentil loaf or sausages or some other yummy dish. Ketchup and cold lager optional. Mmmmmm.

>In search of a good breakfast

>

Talking of breakfast, I’m facing a mid-life breakfast crisis. After 36 years of cereal and toast, I am officially Bored of Breakfast.

I come downstairs in the morning and the thought of another bowl of dried up wheat product (or oats, or similar) makes my appetite fade quickly. I don’t fancy my 10,000th slice of Marmite/jam/marmalade on toast either. I want something different to eat first thing in the morning.

Digression: the best breakfast ever

The best breakfast I ever had was on the roof of a small hostel in Selcuk, Turkey. Kate and I had caught an overnight bus to get there, and arrived early in the morning, tired and dirty; and in Kate’s case, with a severe headache.

We found a nice room and Kate collapsed into the bed; I had a shower, and went off in search of something to eat. The hostel’s owner found me at the bottom of the stairs and said: “Breakfast?” I nodded. She put her hands on my shoulders and turned me around. “Up,” she barked. “Roof. I bring breakfast.”

So I went back upstairs, kept going past the door to our room, and emerged in the sunlight on the roof. There were a couple of tables, a pergola to provide shade, and a fantastic view. I sat down.

Soon my host reappeared with a tray. On it was a glass of hot apple tea, and a plate with feta cheese, fresh slices of tomato, a blob of honey, and I think a slice of freshly baked bread.

I tucked in, all alone on this rooftop, looking out at the view. I listened to the sounds of the town waking up; car horns tooting, people calling each other in the street below. When I’d finished I sat for some time, sipping more apple tea and reading our tatty, faithful copy of “Lonely Planet”, deciding what to do next.

It was the most delicious, most unusual breakfast I’ve ever had.

Back to moaning

So I’ve tried feta and tomatoes and honey at home, but it’s never been as good as the Turkish version. And anyway, I need more ideas. I’ve tried various combinations of fruit and yogurt, which is OK some of the time. I tend to be running late in the morning, so any fruit that requires a lot of preparation and cutting up is not a good plan.

In short, I need something tasty, quick, nutritious, inexpensive, and most important, different.

Any suggestions?

In search of a good breakfast

Talking of breakfast, I’m facing a mid-life breakfast crisis. After 36 years of cereal and toast, I am officially Bored of Breakfast.

I come downstairs in the morning and the thought of another bowl of dried up wheat product (or oats, or similar) makes my appetite fade quickly. I don’t fancy my 10,000th slice of Marmite/jam/marmalade on toast either. I want something different to eat first thing in the morning.

Digression: the best breakfast ever

The best breakfast I ever had was on the roof of a small hostel in Selcuk, Turkey. Kate and I had caught an overnight bus to get there, and arrived early in the morning, tired and dirty; and in Kate’s case, with a severe headache.

We found a nice room and Kate collapsed into the bed; I had a shower, and went off in search of something to eat. The hostel’s owner found me at the bottom of the stairs and said: “Breakfast?” I nodded. She put her hands on my shoulders and turned me around. “Up,” she barked. “Roof. I bring breakfast.”

So I went back upstairs, kept going past the door to our room, and emerged in the sunlight on the roof. There were a couple of tables, a pergola to provide shade, and a fantastic view. I sat down.

Soon my host reappeared with a tray. On it was a glass of hot apple tea, and a plate with feta cheese, fresh slices of tomato, a blob of honey, and I think a slice of freshly baked bread.

I tucked in, all alone on this rooftop, looking out at the view. I listened to the sounds of the town waking up; car horns tooting, people calling each other in the street below. When I’d finished I sat for some time, sipping more apple tea and reading our tatty, faithful copy of “Lonely Planet”, deciding what to do next.

It was the most delicious, most unusual breakfast I’ve ever had.

Back to moaning

So I’ve tried feta and tomatoes and honey at home, but it’s never been as good as the Turkish version. And anyway, I need more ideas. I’ve tried various combinations of fruit and yogurt, which is OK some of the time. I tend to be running late in the morning, so any fruit that requires a lot of preparation and cutting up is not a good plan.

In short, I need something tasty, quick, nutritious, inexpensive, and most important, different.

Any suggestions?

Wok cooking

I’m really enjoying using the new wok that Kate got me for my birthday the other day. It’s quite small as woks go, but that makes it easier to store and to lift (some cooking pans can get so heavy!), and I like those things.

Simply having a wok in the kitchen has inspired me to look for new recipes. The first thing I tried was to make a decent egg fried rice, which I have not done for years, and lo and behold the shiny new wok made it easy. Excellent egg fried rice, I was proud of it.

I enjoy myself when I’m in the kitchen. It’s a place I can be creative without the need for a computer. I can listen to the radio while I cook (the radio is actually as essential as the cooker or the fridge; no radio, no activity). Using the wok makes the process all the more physical, because there’s the need to be swift. Everything has to be chopped up quickly while the oil heats, then cooked on a high heat, with much stirring and swishing. It gets the blood flowing, almost as much as the saliva.